Wyvern Rugby Club Match Reports

Wyvern 37 - Wyvern 61

The conclusion of what was an indifferent season was in itself indifferent. What has in previous seasons been a spectacle of end to end running rugby turned into a bit of fun for the 19 Wyvern players who turned up to play the President's XV. The problem was there was no President's XV!!

Captain Moley and 'Captain' Howie picked 9 and 10 players each respectively [in good old fashioned playground manner, taking it in turns and, quite rightly, leaving Puking Ben Goddard till last] and a form of 10 aside ensued.

Authur Moore fully entered the spirit of things and allowed play to develop as we wanted it to go.

There were lots of long run ins, lots of chasing back, lots of hard tackles and not one cross word throughout the whole affair. What started out as a potential nightmare was thoroughly enjoyed by all and provided a suitable end to the season.

Wyvern 12 - Milborne Port 0

Endeavouring to maintain good relations, we honoured this fixture and travelled for a 12.00 Noon kick off with just 11 players. Unfortunately it became evident very quickly that we had been stitched up.

Arriving at 11.25 we saw the first of their players at 11.45. He advised that his team mates would soon be arriving from mini-coaching at nearby clubs. The truth was that he was the advance "bull-shit" guard and kept shovelling his bull right up till kick off at ... 1.00pm!!

Gale force winds and driving rain were the order of the day, so it was a miracle we stayed at all. We borrowed several, but still ended up with 14 when Howie left the field with a recurrence of an old war wound picked up somewhere called Trai Ning - sounds a very dangerous place to be.

In the end it was an outstanding forward display of 9 man rugby, with Taz and Munch leading the way. Indeed it was Munch who early in the second half dived over from close quarters to give the Wyvern a well deserved lead, with Kiwi Phil getting the extras.

The home team never really looked like scoring, making too many mistakes in the terrible conditions. Though nothing should be taken away from the top drawer performance of all the forwards. Big Harry deserves a special mention as he was not only seen running at one stage, forcing a player to come back inside as Harry looked like cutting him off, but the gentle giant found himself at centre in the latter stages of the game and completely creamed one of their backs: it's taken nearly 7 years, but Harry finally made a tackle!

Final Wyvern glory, and the nail in the coffin for Milborne Port, was the storming run of Jim 'Aarrgghhh' Duncan who straightened the attacking line and simply stormed through the defence to touch down.

Late as we now were it was decided to make the most of the hospitality and we set about eating our lunches, the lunches of our players who did not travel and then the lunches of the opposition. Taz and Howie certainly got their fill, but both declined fourths!!

We finally arrived home nearer 5.00pm than anything, with ample journey time to consider the possible need for the Club to start considering formalising afternoon fixtures in order to avoid such cock-ups as this. Add this to the Agenda for the AGM please Tinny.

Wyvern 8 - Blake Bears 25

Captain Moley was coerced into playing this week by Howie who was determined that despite the lack of support, the 10 who wanted to play should be allowed to! Even Jon Wren suffered the wrath of his wife rather than the Wyvern go too short and he made 11 on the day.

Blake Bears had been forewarned and were ready to even the sides up, which they did with some reasonable players. Unfortunately, there were only enough to make 14 v 15 and it's no surprise who had the 14! A strong cross wind and the narrow Morganian's pitch (the Bear's current home ground) made the conditions difficult for both sides.

Matt Topsham made a rare appearance at scrum half and showed he should make more starts in what is clearly HIS position. His passing to the backs was so strong that he was hitting Jamie at inside centre, completely missing Howie at fly half. Mark Lees found his way back into a Wyvern shirt and was creative in his running from deep.

The forwards being one short were still able to hold their own in the scrums ... well, most of the time. The lineout was a different story and good ball only came courtesy of the ref's whistle. In the loose the forwards were more than even to the task and it was through good support play that Dougie James (guesting at second row) was able to break through for the Wyvern's only try, which followed Howie's early penalty.

The extra player really did make the difference. With the game finely balanced there were two occasions from set pieces when the Bears broke through where a back row should have been, scoring on both occasions. Taz and Munch worked hard throughout, but there were just the two of them.

The final nail in the coffin came late on when a missed pass in the centre bounced up into the arms of a Bears back, who ran 30 metres unopposed to score under the posts, putting the Bears two scores ahead and beyond the will of the tired men in red.

A valiant effort by the few, but it really is time for some of the 'part-time' Wyvern players to dig out their boots and get stuck in to help out. With only 10 matches played and just one win for the season something really needs to start happening to turn things around! With Taunton in two weeks you can be sure that 14 men there will be made to suffer.

Wyvern RFC 5 Fire Brigade 36ish

An effervescent and self assured Capt Moley greeted a long line of players at the home of ‘coarse’ rugby Wyvern Park for the first meeting of 2007. The team sheet was burgeoning to such an extent that three were given away and the returning Capt Bench (retired) could not even make it onto the bench!!!!

How a few minutes of ‘fun’ rugby can change things………

Within 15 minutes Wyvern park was like a scene from a particularly spectacular version of Casualty AND Holby City. The casualty list at 19:00 hours on Sunday evening read as follows;

Centre Andy Coupe – fractured leg
Second Row Ben Goddard – damaged cruciate ligaments (aka Gazza style)
Flanker Stu Longpants – dislocated shoulder
Winger Bluebird Paine – broken ribs
Centre Jamie Pollard – battered/bruised/generally knackered knee
And
Dougle James split his finger nail (and he had only just had them done as a belated Christmas present)

Also Capt Moley in a state of shell shock lamenting what was to have been his finest hour! And it really was not that sort of a game!

Characterised by the injury hit Wyvern, the game was a rather one sided affair with Trumpton, ably chivvied and harangued by the ageing Spudlicious Murphy, in control for the majority of the 80 minutes. Ross ‘turncoat’ Ward was yet again standing out as the key player for the fireman. Wyvern did manage one response through 80’s throwback Mike ‘I used to be a winger for Bath you know’ Stevens, crashing through a flailing Firebrigade defence having received a classic Fishy exocet missile pass. Mike was probably the only one who could have caught it!

A resilient, if not impressive, Wyvern performance against some very experienced and fit fireman (several Pethie first teamers were sighted by wise old sage Reg ‘the ref’ Lewis; the only thing he did see!). A special mention should go to the Wyvern back row who chased, tackled and foraged for any scraps throughout. Taz, Munch and Longpants were irrepressible in their search for the ball.

Captain Moley, ashen faced, was looking for volunteers for next weeks game at Wivvey, but was less confident of putting together a similar sized squad! Rumour has it that Moley was asked to leave Musgrove Park Hospital when he arrived at casualty after subs from the boys in the Wyvern wing of the fracture clinic.

Wyvern 0 Spaxton 37(ish)

Spaxton have been a club without a pitch since the Health & Safety Executive condemned the changing facilities at their original home of Cannington College. This season they have done a deal with North Petherton. However, a complete breakdown in communication meant that the anticipated 11.30 kick off was actually well past midday, as THAT was the time the pitch was available from!

Not surprisingly we were VERY ready for a 11.30 kick off and as the time wore on, our interest and enthusiasm waned. Even the ever-hyper Munch was less than sparkling and was so out of sorts he wore WHITE shorts! The only thing to pass the time was what Ben Goddard described as the 'longest explanation ever' given by Howie as to why we were kicking off late.

Another new face at scrum half, Ewan, and a guest appearance by Mark Lees (who lasted 10 minutes before aggravating a neck injury and being replaced by Howie), were complimented by the return of Westie to the front row.

Spaxton fielded what looked like a colts team who were full of running and clever handling moves. We didn't find out which club they played for, but they were well drilled and worked very well in all phases of play. They won most of the lineouts, turned us over for a past time and certainly made the most of their chances, running from all over the park. Apart from a Wyvern dominance of the scrums, it was all Spaxton. When we tried to run with the ball we were tackled or harassed into making a mistake or simply giving the ball up.

We were still in touch at half time, Howie's punting boot keeping us in their half long enough for them to only score twice. However, the second half saw the flood gates open. The late start saw the departure of one, leaving us with 14 and a major head-ache.

Hatch Back and Flookie in the centre were never sure which one to tackle and there was always another one if they did. Jon the Magnet was less magnetic this week and more confused as the play switched around so fast. Ewan's opposite number was all over him and even when No.8, Jim Duncan, did pick up he was pounced on by a very active Spaxton back row trio.

As the game went on and the frustration rose, the referee got decidedly upset at the actions of Wyvern players (though Westie was not off side on the occasion the Spaxton boys laid into him) and the constant remarks regarding passages of play. If only the ref had kept a commentary going so that we knew he had seen the offence, then we would have given less chat and taken more of the advantage.

All in all it was a damp and miserable game, both in terms of weather conditions and performance. We were not 30 points worse than Spaxton, but we were certainly more distracted by the late kick off than our opponents.

Taunton next week means we will need some of our regulars back or we will struggle as the small Taunton contingent who play for us have already committed to play against us. If the Longman brothers (and their mate Russ) see this then please make yourselves available for next week!!

Wyvern 13 Wellington 5

By Friday there were only 10, with the possibility that Fishy might turn up, making a football 11 to go to Wellington. We informed them of our dilemma, but they told us to come. And boy are we glad we did!

Ben Goddard pulled a few aces from his hat and turned up with 3. Then when we arrived we found the Longman brothers were there to greet us! Long time no see, but what a relief and an asset. PLUS they had brought a scrum half, so we actually ventured forth with 16, Fishy not having turned up after all.

In the absence of poorly Moley, Taz came to the front row and took charge of affairs up front. Without Fishy it was necessary to put Howie at fly half, which turned out OK as he brought his touchline kicking boots. So the mixed forwards and regular backs faced a regular Wellington team with lots of friendly faces, including Jim Duncan.

For the first 20 minutes, against the wind and down the slope it was actually nearly all Wyvern. Even in defence we looked strong, with die hard tackling from all the forwards and plenty of chasing down of their backs by a very hung over Hatch Back and "Captain" Jamie.

The deadlock was broken by an individual piece of pure strength on the part of Taz. Several rucks and mauls had failed to break the Wellington line, with players standing off and taking the short ball while attempting to crash over, no-one was making any headway. Then Taz took the ball on a short feed, hit the 5 metre line and 'carried' two of their players before him before dropping low to score. Howie missed the kick.

Attack now turned to defence as Wellington found a head of steam and, having made some positional changes, started to string some attacks together. This culminated in a series of penalties near our line and the inevitable score levelling try as one of the Welly forwards eventually crashed over unopposed.

 Good forward possession and Howie's boot brought the game back into balance and we steadily crept towards their line, ultimately to be awarded a penalty under their posts which Howie slotted and gave us an 8-5 lead at the turn around.

The second half is summed up as great Wyvern (and Wellington for that matter) forward play, penetrating Wellington running and awful Wyvern passing. In the end it was a very messy Wyvern passing move which finally saw Hatch Back provide Howie with the space to run in front the 22, beating the covering defence to the corner. He still missed the kick though.

Tails up and the wind at our backs we were only threatened late on by Jim Duncan who galloped the length of the park to be brought down by fullback, Gareth (of all people), with only metres to go.

Grateful thanks to Russ, Lee, Owen, the other prop (sorry, should have asked before leaving) and the Longman boys. A good rugged performance and one worthy of the main pitch at Wellington.

Good job everyone.

Wyvern 22 Wiveliscombe 24

A disaster for our first home game with only 14 Wyvern players in attendance! With several regulars in absence due to other commitments, a few injuries and a the rest simply suffering from apathy, it was the good nature of Wiveliscombe in providing us with a useful centre (thanks, Baz) which kept the game in balance.

The Wyvern pack were dominant for the first quarter, with waif like Ben Mangen making a big impact at prop. Unfortunately both Wyvern and Wivey made too many mistakes for consistent progress and it was some time before the first points (a Fishy penalty) were on the board.

This seemed to spur Wyvern on and shortly after, following one disallowed attempt, Jim Duncan crashed over for the first try to put Wyvern 8-0 ahead.

A few tactical changes by Wivey, not least bringing on Gypo (OK, that's what we've called him for the last 10 years, we should really find out his proper name) whose skill and strength now galvanised the Wivey attack and saw them run in two converted tries before half time.

The second half began much as it had finished, with the Wyvern holding the their lines in solid defence. Once again persistence for Wivey was rewarded with another unconverted try.

Gypo was now getting tired and Munch had effectively neutralised him. Two late comers for Wyvern took to the field and allowed Taz to move from scrum half to back row and a Proper Prop replaced Ben. Once again the Wyvern pack were dominant and pushed the opposition around at will in the scrums.

A lose kick saw Jim Duncan literally scythe through the Wivey forwards, 'aaargghhing' as he went, which is probably why they all stood and watched hoping the next guy would get in the way, to score a much needed response to the growing deficiet.

From the restart it was Wyvern on the attack. Another good scrum set Fishy on a run which created the space for old timer Howie to show he still has the pace to score in the corner. Minutes later and it was the Proper Prop who was supporting a broken piece of play to score the try which put Wyvern ahead by two points.

However, Wivey were not done and their speedster centre had the final say in the top corner. Wivey held on for the last three minutes to win what was an entertaining and competitive game.

If only Howie had got one of the conversions he missed!!!

Wyvern 8 Blake Bears 21

An open and energetic game, which saw as much running in the first half as most of the team do all season, was evenly balanced until half time.

With several new faces in (welcome to Jon the Magnet and Young Ben) and some regulars out (Westy & Munch being notable), it was a rather mixed bunch who took to the field. The return of Pete Flook and a passing visit from Dave Cox, along with first outings for Jim Duncan and Gareth Hughes meant there were a few 'getting to know you moments'.

The first half was lots of running (ask Hatch Back who looked like he had done a marathon!), but too many mistakes with balls not passed to hand or just thrown away. Both teams were guilty of this and certainly Blake Bears were determined to squander all the chances they had when they did break our lines.

After what seemed an eternity we found ourselves with a penalty under their posts. Step up Fishy to slot 3 points. Shortly after this, it was Fishy again who was rounding off an excellent running move, which did demonstrate good support by the backs, with a score under the posts. He staggered back, looking to the touch line for oxygen, but only found Howie looking for the kicking tee. Fishy missed the kick anyway.

Second half and all to play for. Unfortunately the home side saw this as ALL to play for and ran out three 'ringers' recruited in a Weston night club the previous evening: one Hornets player and two Weston players. Our tired legs and this disproportionate change in the balance of the home side was too much for us - that and Howie's poor tackling.

Lots more running, but this time after the Bears as they were taking everything too us. Fishy was outstanding, if a little illegal in some of his efforts, as he chased, tackled and harried their runners (yes, we are talking about the same person who flapped his arms at an opponent last year in order to force him into touch). But it was not enough and the heat and lack of fitness saw us capitulate to a 3 relatively easy tries and a match lost.

Round one in our four match series to the Bears.

Wyvern 0 Chew Valley 105

10 years ago Wyvern withdrew from the Somerset Cup following a crushing defeat at the hands of Bath combination side Old Sullians by 112 - 0. 10 years on and you might consider it a touch of deja vu as this Somerset Premier team gave us a damn good trouncing.

Several points to note though:

• The deficit was less than in 1996
• In 1996 it was four points for a try, so we conceded less tries against Chew Valley
• In 1996 we had 15 players on the park, we only had 14 for the first half and 13 for the second half at Chew Valley

All in all then, a damn fine performance against a superior opposition playing several leagues above us and who had been training all summer. The Wyvern's pre season training was confined to 16 minutes prior to this match!

Moley had a difficult induction to his Captaincy. The statutory promises from some, which turn to apologies when the desperate call is made, simply made his first trip a nightmare. Kev and Eddie, what happened to you? And then there is the disgraceful behaviour of those who should know better: the Director of Rugby for example. "I'll come if you're short" were his words to the new incumbent of the worst job in the Club. He knew we were meeting for 12.30, so you'd have thought he's have put off making a decision about his afternoon arrangements until 1.00pm, which is when we would know if we were short. Oh, no, that's too easy! "He's gone" says Jake Wren when Moley makes the call just before 1.00pm, "he left at 12.30".

So 14 brave warriors travelled to their fate. Back in 1996 we travelled with 11 and borrowed 4, which they leant us willingly (albeit they were all wingers!). Chew Valley were not prepared to show the same gamesmanship and refused to lend us anyone, even though it was clear what the result would be. This was only exacerbated when Big Ben left the field at half time, with damage to his knee, leaving 13 on the field. While army sniper, Mikey Joseph-Harrison, may not have Big Ben's build, he certainly showed willing as he stepped into second row.

The fact that any Wyvern player who got hold of the ball was immediately nailed by two of the opposition was neither here or there, but there were some notable performances:

• Well done the front row of Westie, Taz and Moley who nearly held the Chew Valley pack up on their own (well, they had to really!)
• Well done Little Ben for sticking out the whole match having only just started exercise again following a knee operation
• The recently qualified PT Instructor and general fitness nut, Munch, for his motivational words of encouragement: "Where are you? Come on, no one is with me!"
• Fishy was awesome! Yes, seriously, he was EVERYWHERE! And the tackle count for him was phenomenal: OK, so it was like a bear catching salmon in a river, there were so many opposition running with the ball he couldn't help but get a few!
• Jamie and People Carrier were their standard assured pairing in the centre, while Jez's super-glue grip meant that if he could catch one then they didn't get away. Then there was the rapid and randy Bluebird who was out to impress 'we all know who!'.
• Howie watched the whole game from fullback and ran around a lot, but he recounted the match so well later on.

Not a day we will look back on with much happiness, but a good wake-up call for the start of the season.

Let the 2006-2007 season begin!

(Ross, a good website for big words is http://dictionary.reference.com )

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